Stark Cold
by Ryellen
Summary: It's been one year since she opened her eyes. This certainly affects the one person who choses whether she lives or dies, her husband Chiba Mamoru.


This is not a happy fanfiction…sorry!

I don't own anything of Naoko's…she does and I'm glad she does.

"Thank you Dr. Chiba, for saving my wife's life, I couldn't imagine it with out her." The man had tears in his eyes and turned and rushed in to greet his battered wife.

'You just keep going. It's all you can do.' He set the chart down and wiped his name off the board. As he walked through the bright welcoming yet stark halls of the hospital, he swallowed. Day after day it was harder for him. The black lettering of the room number blurred. He didn't need to see it though; it was room 305, always had been. For the past year it was always 305, there was never escaping of that place. He pushed open the door. Intoxicating smells of roses filled the room. Everywhere there was color. He hated how happy the room looked, even after the day he broke down and smashed everything in the room; it was back to this the next day. So he stopped looking at that too, and instead

focused on the one thing that he cared about.

There she lay, beautiful as always. But the thing he missed, was the azure blue of her eyes. The eyes, so alit with life, ever since the very first day he met her ten years ago. Ten years ago, she threw that piece of paper and hit him on the head. Ten years ago, she threw him for a loop with those eyes, and every year since she kept doing the same thing. Throwing him for a loop. Every time they sparkled with love and admiration. He didn't ever deserve her love, but he cherished it, bathed in it, and basked in it. Until a year ago. A year ago she was taken, head on collision with a semi truck in which the driver had

fallen asleep. The coma came after that. The doctors said it was useless, he knew from his training it was useless, but somehow her closest friends and he couldn't pull the plug. They hoped that as time and time again their hope would succeed, save her, bring her back to life. Open those pretty blues again, sing in that beautiful voice again. She wanted to live, he wanted her to live…he needed her to live. But exactly one year later, their hope had not given them the one thing they needed.

He needed her back, but deep down he knew it wouldn't happen. She just kept deteriorating. The machines could keep her alive only so long. Eventually her body

would just give out. Yet, he didn't sign the papers to shut it off. He didn't think he could. Until today.

Spend all your time waiting

For that second chance

For a break that would make it

okay

There's always some reason

To feel not good enough

And it's hard at the end of the day

His signature looked foreign, he despised it. He despised everything that the little black letters stood for, the end

of her life, and the end of his life. He would never get to see his children, never get to see Crystal Tokyo. Never, nothing, ever. He set the board down that had the paper. The contract of death. Something only Hades could love. Oh how the God must love him now. He'd just sent the most beautiful creature to the underworld, and the only consolation he had, was that she would forever live in Elysian Fields, full of beauty and love just as she was.

He stood next to her, holding her hand. Ever so cautiously his lips touched the warm flesh of her hand. That warm flesh that lied, she wasn't alive and she never would be. He leaned over, and brushed his lips over her forehead.

Slick drops landed on her face, he hadn't known he was crying, but it came to no shock. His lips dropped from her forehead to her lips and one last time he kissed her. Just as every other time since the accident, she didn't kiss back.

"Dr. Chiba? It has been a year now." Her Doctor, a colleague of his, stood behind him. Wielding the fatal ax with his nimble fingers.

"Hai, the papers are signed. Her friends and family are going to be here soon, please wait until then." He sat down in the chair, watching her,

barely hearing as her friends arrived. It was down to the final hour and somehow he still hoped that she would squeeze his hand back, or that she would wake up. He felt the hand of her father on his shoulder. The man had grown intense respect for his son-in-law.

"Son, are you sure you want to do this?"

"Hai, it's the only thing to do. She's gone. She has been. I can't feel her." It was true, but in a sense that her father would never understand, he couldn't feel her anymore. Once in a great while he would feel something, but Ami had said it was most likely

a ghost feeling, like those with lost limbs feel.

"We're ready." He closed his eyes and tears slid out. He knew she'd go peacefully. He heard the cries of her friends, her mother, and her brother. Everyone was there, to see his or her princess off. Setsuna stood in the corner, covered in shadows, solid as stone. She'd been there the second Usagi was hurt, knowing that something was wrong. Haruka held a crying Michiru and Hotaru buried her head in her hands. The poor girl would never see her best friend. Ami stood with Minako, their arms wrapped around each other and both Rei and Makoto stood on their own. Rei looked the worst; the past

year had been hard on her. Dark circles were under her eyes and she'd lost weight. Everyday she sat in front of the fire praying. Her grandfather forced her to eat when he could. Makoto buried herself in cooking; it's all she did. Minako hadn't made any public appearances, and Ami lived at the Hospital saving everyone she knew how too. Standing he let her hand fall and left the room. He couldn't stay and watch this, he couldn't be there when she was gone.

I need some distraction

Oh beautiful release

memory seeps from my veins

let me be empty

and weightless and maybe

I'll find some peace tonight

As he walked, time held still, he heard the cries of her mother and

some of the girls. His life ended, her life ended. It was over with. He broke into a run, weaving his way out of the hospital and to the local store. He needed something, a distraction. The keys fumbled in the lock of the hotel. It was the closest place to the hospital. His car was right out front. The bottle of alcohol lay on the bed, inviting him to forget. But instead everything came back with each drop of that elixir.

'Mamo-chan! I did it! I did it! I get to graduate! I've finally got my degree!' She'd been beautiful that day, bouncing into his arms with her transcript. That very day he remembered what she was wearing. A white tennis skirt and baby blue t-shirt with her baby blue heeled strappy sandles. Her cheeks were flushed from running home to their apartment,

their pink glow enticing. He'd taken her out to dinner, and then dancing and finally they came back home to make slow love in their candle filled room. Minako had been delighted to set up the room while they were out. Usagi had been ecstatic when they got home and he had no trouble getting her in the mood, she'd jumped him before they'd gotten to the room. Their clothes were strewn all over the hallway. The night was wonderful and they fell asleep, him in the arms of his angel.

The bottle was gone, the memories gathering. Her face, her body, her scent, her aura…she was everywhere but nowhere all at the same time. Standing he grabbed his keys, he couldn't stay here, he couldn't remember her. She just wouldn't go away and he

didn't want her to. But it was killing him, slowly.

in the arms of an angel

fly away from here

from this dark cold hotel room

and the endlessness that you fear

you are pulled from the wreckage

of your silent reverie

you're in the arms of the angel

may you find some comfort there

The sounds of his car were soothing and he headed out of the city towards the

mountains and forest. The further away he was the better. She haunted him, her everything haunted him. All he wanted was another chance to feel her, to touch her.

'Baby, what do you think it's going to be like?'

'What is what going to be like?'

'Crystal Tokyo.' They sat on the floor in their living room, watching the sunset through the glass doors. He head was on her stomach and she was propped up a bit on some throw pillows. He was growing tired; her hands were soothing in his hair. The up and down motion of her

stomach soothed him.

'I don't know, we were never given a definite time on when it would come and we know that Chibi-Usa was born in this time, not the next. And she's not here, unless there is something you aren't telling me?'

'Iie, I'm not pregnant. I took a test yesterday.' She sounded a bit disappointed, they both wanted Chibi-usa, but at the same time, they enjoyed not having any battles and when she came…the freeze would begin. Her hands were in his hair again and he couldn't keep the sleep away.

so tired of the straight line

and everywhere you turn

there's vultures and thieves at your back

and the storm keeps on twisting

you keep on building the lies

that you

make up for all that you lack

it don't make no difference

escaping one last time

it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh

this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

That yellow line wasn't straight anymore. He couldn't remember when it had been. The memories kept coming back, never leaving him. Attacking his mind and his heart relentlessly. Rain and thunder had begun to fall. It seemed only fitting for his mood. In the back of his mind he wondered if he caused it, being so connected with the Earth. Lightning lit up the sky, and the rain pelted his windshield. He couldn't control it anymore and his eyes blurred as well. Even the entire bottle of alcohol couldn't drown it out on last time. He never saw it coming, the edge of the road, the ravine below. Neither did he feel anything but her. Finally, all he could feel was she.

in the arms of an angel

fly away from here

from this dark cold hotel room

and the endlessness that you fear

you are pulled from the wreckage

of your silent reverie

you're in the arms of the angel

may you find some comfort here

you're in the arms of the angel

may you find some comfort here

She surrounded him, comforting him. The shortness of breath he never knew. The dimming surroundings and the pain around him, he couldn't feel any of it. Her arms were around him. The sounds of the workers trying to free his dying body, they were minute…whispers to her. Her voice soothed him, he couldn't hear her words but he knew it was she.

"It's Chiba! Dr. Chiba from the Tokyo Memorial!"

"They pulled the plug on his wife today. Guys I don't think this was an accident."

"He reeks of alcohol."

"Just get him out of there."

'Mamoru, baby, I've come. I'm here. Nothing is going to hurt you anymore.' Her scent, around him, he could feel her arms again, the warmth of her lips on his forehead.

"Usa…ko"

"He's coming to!"

"No, we're losing him."

'I know baby, I'm here. You don't have to hurt anymore. I don't want you to hurt anymore. Will you try to live for me?'

"I can't, I can't do it. I cannot live with out you."

'You can if you want to.'

"But I don't, take me with you. I can't live without you. Just as you couldn't live with out me." He knew he had her there. She herself had died when he had.

'Shhh, it's all right. Everything will work out. Just relax, let go.' He didn't need another opinion. Closing his eyes he saw her, a white dress that fell to her calves. She walked up to him and he to her. A smile fell upon her face and her arms went around

him. Here he was again, in the arms of his angel.

"Did anyone else feel that?" A shiver had run through all there, and then he was gone. "We lost him." Everyone was quiet, they all felt it; joy, happiness, release, and comfort. Things felt right again.


End file.
